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Firefly & Serenity Quotes

- - - Serenity - - -

Coming soon!

- - - Firefly - - -


Mal: “You know why we’re not going to die? Because we are so very pretty.”

Wash: [playing with his dinosaurs] “ ‘We will rule over all this land. And we will call it...This Land.’ ‘I think we should call it your grave!’ ‘Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!’ ‘Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die!’ ”

Kaylee: [climbs up stuff and turns off all lights] “Okay, now I can’t get down.”

Jayne: “Captain, can you stop her from bein’ cheerful, please?”
Mal: “I don’t believe there’s a power in the ’verse can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just want to duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.”
Kaylee: [kisses Mal on the cheek] “I love my captain.”

Jayne: “Ten percent of nothin’ is.... Let me do the math, here.... Nothin’ and then nothin’...carry the nothin’....”

Mal: “Jayne, your mouth is talkin’. You might wanna look to that.”

Mal: “Ain’t no way in the ’verse they could find that compartment, even if—even if they were looking for it.”
Zoe: “Why not?”
Mal: [pause] “’Cause.”
Zoe: “Oh, yeah. This is gonna go great.”
Mal: “If anyone gets nosy, just…shoot ’em.”
Zoe: “Shoot ’em?”
Mal: “Politely.”

Inara: “Would you like to lecture me on the wickedness of my ways?”
Shepherd: “I brought you some supper. But if you’d prefer a lecture, I have a few catchy ones prepped. Sin and hellfire. One has lepers.”

Mal: “Now, you’re only gonna scare him.”
Jayne: “Pain is scary.”

Mal: “We may not have parted on the best of terms. I realize certain words were exchanged. Also certain...bullets.”

Jayne: [on radio] “Testing. Testing, Captain, can you hear me?”
Mal: “I’m standing right here.”
Jayne: “You’re comin’ through good and loud.”
Mal: “’Cause I’m standin’ right here!”

Simon: “How do I know you won’t kill me in my sleep?”
Mal: “You don’t know me, son, so let me explain this to you once. If I ever kill you, you’ll be awake. You’ll be facing me, and you’ll be armed.”
Simon: “Are you always this sentimental?”
Mal: “I had a good day.”

“The Train Job”

Jayne: “What month is it?”

Drunk guy: “Y’know, your coat is...sort of a brownish color.”
Mal: “It was on sale.”
Drunk guy: “You didn’t toast. I’m thinkin’ your one of ’em Independents.”
Mal: “And I’m thinkin’ you weren’t burdened with an overabundance of schooling. So why don’t we just ignore each other ’til we go away?”
Drunk guy: “The Independents were a bunch of cowardly, inbred &^%# pots. Should’ve been killed off of every world spinnin’.”
Mal: “Say that to my face.”
Drunk guy: “I said...you’re a coward and a &^%# pot. Now, what are you gonna do about it?”
Mal: “Nothin’. I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind you.”
Zoe: [whacks the guy upside the head]
Mal: “Drunks are so cute.”

Mal [on radio]: “Wash, we have some local color happenin’. Grand entrance would not go amiss.”

Mal: “See, this is another sign of your tragic space dementia—all paranoid and crotchety—breaks the heart.”

Shepherd: “That young man’s very brave.”
Mal: “Yeah. He’s my hero.”

Inara: “What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?”
Mal: “That it was manly and impulsive?”
Inara: “Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was don’t.”

Mal: “What’s goin’ on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?”

Inara: “Mal, you’re being a gentleman. I may die of shock.”
Mal: “Hmm.” [bows and leaves, then comes back in] “Have you got time to do my hair?”
Inara: “Out!”

Zoe: “Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.”

Mal: “This job I would pull for free!”
Zoe: “Then can I have your share?”
Mal: “No.”
Zoe: “If you die, can I have your share?”
Mal: “Yes.”

Jayne: “These are stone killers, little man. They ain’t cuddly like me.”

Jayne: “You know what the chain of command is? It’s a chain I go get and beat you with ’til you understand who’s in ruttin’ command here.”

Jayne: “You can’t change that by gettin’ all...‘bendy.’”
Wash: “All what?”
Jayne: “You got the—the light from the console...to keep you—lift you up. Oh, they shine...like...” [grabs at air] “...little angels.” [falls over]
Wash: “Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?”
Simon: “I told him to sit down.”


Inara: “The key seems to be giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back.”

Zoe: “If I’m gonna wear a dress, I want something with some slink.”
Wash: “You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?”
Jayne: “I’ll chip in.”

Mal: “Sniff the air, don’t kiss the dirt.”
Zoe: “Wasn’t plannin’ on the dirt-kissin’, sir.”
Wash: “I wouldn’t stand for it anyway, Captain, jealous man like me.”

Zoe: “Planet’s comin’ up awful mite fast.”
Wash: “That’s just ’cause…I’m goin’ down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all.”
Mal: “Well, if that happens, just let me know.”

Kaylee: “Yes, sir, Captain Tight-pants.”

Kaylee: “Up until the punching, it was a real nice party.”

Mal: “I don’t like fellows who kill me, not in general.”

Mal: “Mercy is the mark of a great man.” [pokes with sword] “Guess I’m just a good man.” [pokes again] “Well, I’m all right.”

Mal: “See how I’m not punching him? I think I’ve grown.”


Mal: “See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with. Long as she does it quiet-like.”

Zoe: “Next time we smuggle stock, let’s make it something smaller.”
Wash: “Yeah, we should start dealing in those black-market beagles.”

River: “They weren’t cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky, and they remember what they are.”
Mal: “Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?”

Mal: “Never goes smooth. How come it never goes smooth?”

Jayne: “ ‘Dear diary. Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy.’ ” [flips page] “ ‘Today we were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day ever.’ ”

Zoe: “Captain will come up with a plan.”
Kaylee: “Well, that’s good, right?”
Zoe: “Possible you’re not recalling some of his previous plans.”

“Our Mrs. Reynolds”

Mal: “[B]ut if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty flowered bonnet, I will end you.”

Mal: “How drunk was I last night?”
Jayne: “Well, I don’t know. I passed out.”

Mal: “Hello? Woman-person?”

Mal: “You’ve got the right same as anyone to live and try to kill people.”

Mal: “That’s a dumb planet.”

Mal: “Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.”

Mal: “Jayne, go play with your rain stick.”

Wash: “Do I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not...married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinkie!”

Wash: “Maybe she likes shuttles.” [everyone looks at him oddly] “Some people juggle geese!”

Jayne [to gun]: “See, Vera? Dress yourself up, you get taken out somewhere fun.”

“Out of Gas”

[showing Zoe the “new” ship]
Mal: “Well?”
Zoe: “You paid money for this, sir? On purpose?”

Mal: “Ship like this, be with you ‘til the day you die.”
Zoe: “Because it’s a death trap.”

Mal: “And try to see past what she is and on to what she can be.”
Zoe: “What’s that, sir?”
Mal: “Freedom is what.”
Zoe: “I meant what’s that?”
Mal: “Oh, yeah, just step around that. I think something must have been living in here.”

Mal: “Which one you figure tracked us?”
Zoe: “The ugly one, sir.”
Mal: [pause] “Could you be more specific?”
Marco: “Do we look reasonable to you?”
Mal: “Well, looks can be deceiving.”
Jayne: “Not as deceiving as a lowdown...dirty...deceiver.”
Mal: “Well said. Wasn’t that well said, Zoe?”
Zoe: “Had a kind of poetry to it, sir.”

Mal: “Point of interest? Offerin’ to shoot us might not work so well as an incentive as you might imagine.”

Inara [to Jayne]: “No one’s asking you to scrub anything. Although a bath wouldn’t kill you.”

Jayne: “Well, hey, you know, we’d have been back first, except there’s somethin’ wrong with Inara’s shuttle. She’s done somethin’ to it, Mal. Smells funny.”
Inara: “I told you, that’s incense.”
Jayne: “So you say.”


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